What happens when a twenty-something, New York City-born, -bred, and -based dominatrix decides she wants to settle down, start a family, and try her hand at a conventional life?
She moves to a socially-conservative third-world country, of course! At least, that’s what I did. How will my sordid and strange past affect my wholesome and stable future?
Only time – and this blog – will tell.
Why the moniker of “Mistress Mom”?
As one of my all-time favorite people, Texti, once said about calling myself a dom mom, “It feels so permanent.” And she’s right; it does. Why ensnare myself in a name that’s so indicative of being a dominatrix – Mistress – especially when I’m set on leaving that world behind? The “Mom” part in itself is a doozy; becoming a mom is a life-changing decision, and I’m proud to identify solely as a singular entity/title. But there are all of these social expectations that come with being a mom. There are so many sacrifices to make. There are so many compromises. Why box myself in with the responsibilities of caring for another person and all the implications therein? Why limit my blogging persona to the stereotypes of a dominatrix and a mom?
Well, here’s the thing: I’m not limiting myself to anything.
If there’s one thing that my impending motherhood has reminded me, it’s that sky’s the limit on the world and what anyone makes of it. There are so many independent and subjective variables necessary in shaping one’s perspective. There are so many experiences in this world of possibilities. There are so many insights and outcomes to explore. And I want it all for myself and my loved ones. I want us to know and feel and be as much as possible. To personify an all-encompassing and beautiful understanding of that by which we’re surrounded.
I chose to call myself Mistress Mom to remind myself of all the contradictory and strange and ironic and chaotic and beautiful things I’ve seen and will see. I chose it to help me remember that as much as I love my child and will do everything in my power to raise him/her well, I am first and foremost a human being. I am my own person and I choose who I am and what I’m about, regardless of what I’m called or who says otherwise. And if there’s anything I want to be known for, any legacy I’d like to pass on to my child, I hope it’s this: an unerring sense of self and an unwavering faith in possibility.
December 23, 2008