For better or for worse, I’ve reached a point in my life where I only have an hour each week to use as recreational internet time. This fact is boggling my mind.
Sure, I have one of those fancy-schmancy cell phones, so I’m connected to the internet. Also, there are four computers in this house. And, yeah, I have an incredibly capable and supportive partner who is currently between jobs and out of school. But really, my plate is full with the making and executing of plans, and I don’t like talking about what I’m doing while I’m doing it.
Still, I really want to share what’s going on with me. I just feel like, with all that’s going on and my newfound apprehension about giving a detailed and direct play-by-play, I’ll end up becoming one of those boring-ass people who want so badly to be perceived as important that they only ever whine about how busy their life is. And I really really really don’t want that to happen.
So. (And this part was a long time coming, I think.)
The solution? I’ve been waiting for the time to talk about the good stuff. The life stuff. The art stuff. It’s all the same, really. I’ve been waiting for the right time to write about the moments each day that enlighten me, inspire me, teach me, and fulfill me. I want to talk about the passions that drive me, the fears that plague me, and the discomforts and delights of daily living. (And I want to do it all more succinctly, and with more of an eye to storytelling, since I’ve realized lately that I’m all about life being art being life being art, et al.) That time is now.
I want to share with you what my life is really like.:The mess of the house and the ongoing furniture-moving and decorating; the craziness of having six dogs and two cats living on our property; the awesomeness that are my might-as-well-be-in-laws, and the awesomeness that are my parents (both sets of ‘rents are living in the States); the things I see outside my office window; the adventure that is mine and Rob’s decision-making process about adopting children. Everything. I realize that I’ve been hitting the big points, aka the topics that create great change within me. But I haven’t really been sharing the small things that move me, inch-by-inch making me who I’ll be tomorrow. That’s what’s been missing from our conversation, and you are too important to not know that stuff.
I want you to know me. I mean, really know me.
So I’m changing the way I communicate, the things I communicate about, and the reason for communicating. I’m giving you not only the backstage pass to all things Me, but also a super-up-close-and-personal tour of my mistakes and foibles. I’m letting you follow me as I fall – let’s face it, I’m making huge leaps and bounds, so I’m sure to fall flat on my face very often – and that’s a HUGE deal for me. I’m facing the fact that my life may very well not end up as I want it to be… and yet, regardless of how it turns out, it will have been perfect.
And I’m doing all this because of what I’ve learned since my last post: Life is too short to do anything half-assed, and blogging is the only sure-fire way to keep in touch with people I care about. I’m saying “Fuck you!” to all my fears of overexposure, and I’m sticking by my belief that I am beautiful and so are you. We can do no wrong by being ourselves, and living our lives loud and proud.
Hopefully, I’m right, and my weekly hour of internet will be enough to prove it. Or, ya know, I might just scrounge up some more time in front of the keyboard.