Like a brick wall.

Rob left on Friday morning, and I managed to keep my weepiness to a minimum until last night, when we spoke on Skype for the first time since he left. I haven’t been able to stop crying since then.

This is the kind of drama that cripples me, you guys. It’s the kind that makes it hard for me to concentrate on anything else. The kind that makes me unable to eat. The kind that causes me to burst into tears at any given moment.

I’m trying to hold it all together for another week and a half (until the semester ends), but I’m waaayyy behind on editing a friend’s book, my head is pounding like crazy, and all I want to do is watch back-episodes of Grey’s Anatomy, eat fruit in bed all day, and finally finish editing the two books that I should have finished editing a week ago. I decided to skip out on my Logic Class because a classmate borrowed my notes and  never returned them, and I don’t think I could handle sitting in a classroom for 3 hours just to fail multiple quizzes. And, and, and—


I just- I.don’t.know.

I’m sad and feeling constrained by this sadness, and even though I know it will lift soon enough, I can’t help but wallow in it. I can’t help but actually feel it. I just- *sigh* I can’t do anything else.

Forgive me for slacking, world. I think I need to take a breather from everything and just try to stay sane.


5 responses to “Like a brick wall.

  1. We can’t always be strong with each breath we take, even if we try to be. And sometimes when we actually do try, we hurt ourselves even more.

    I won’t be a dick and tell you I know how you feel, but I can definitely feel your sadness.

    Stronger always.

  2. Pugs, 😀 I’ve missed you! How have you been?!

    “We can’t always be strong with each breath we take, even if we try to be. And sometimes when we actually do try, we hurt ourselves even more.”

    You’re sooo right. I’m realizing it’s more beneficial right now to just accept that I can’t be superwoman and go with the teary flow. Things look brighter with each day, and hopefully this weekend I can buy a new laptop so I don’t have to worry about this yucky one messing up my Skype dates with Rob.

    But seriously, dude? Sooooo good to hear from you. xoxo

  3. You’ll be hearing a lot from me again from now on. A better me ( or so I believe)

  4. 🙂

  5. huggggggggg

    I’m dumb late with this shit.
    damn it boo, I wish I was there. I’d make you strong coffee and we’d bake sweets and just talk shit n be quiet moral support. you don’t need me to tell u ull get through this, but I absolutely agree that you need to let yourself break. I love you hunny. :<

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s