Have I ticked you off? Said something you found offensive? Been a bitch? Annoyed you? Is there some bad blood between us?
If so, I want to let you know that
I’m truly sorry. I didn’t mean to cause you any harm. You have my sincerest apologies. Please email me or call me or Skype me or Facebook message me or comment on this post. Let’s put this in the past. you take things too personally. I had a brainfart and said/did something off-color or rude, and either a) you’re arbitrarily hanging on to a grudge, or b) you’re mostly over it because you realize that I have my share of awkward moments and I didn’t mean anything by it.
To those in column B, I say: You have my deepest and most sincere apologies. For-realio. I know I can be more than a handful, and the fact that you stick around despite all of my shenanigans really makes me feel grateful. Thank you for putting up with me.
To the rest of you: *dusts shoulders and walks away*