I’m a hot mess.

After almost 30 years of marriage and adultery, my dad’s moving out of my parents’ house. A day prior to hearing the news, Rob and I had another one of our huge fights that ended with a break up*. And now? My temperature has been fluctuating on the higher side of things, the highest being 103.8 F, my body is all kinds of weak and achy, and I’m pretty sure the tightness I feel in my chest has something to do with anxiety and/or panic attacks. Because to make things worse? Since I’d been skipping out on class to spend time with my mom and to love up on Riley while he was sick, I’m barely hanging onto my high average for the marking period. And the nanny just told me that she’s leaving tomorrow.

I’m trying to keep it together enough to make all of my writing and contributing deadlines, but. It’s So. Fucking. Hard. And these headaches I’ve been getting? They’re no joke. In New York, I have a support system of amazing people who would babysit at a moment’s notice. But here? Let’s just say that my two options for tomorrow are: 1) Let Rob – who has a hacking cough – take care of Riley while I’m at school, or 2) Take it upon myself, Ms. Mysterious and Probably-Contagious Tropical Illness, to take care of the little one.

Not great options. Not. At. All.


5 responses to “I’m a hot mess.

  1. Marbie, sorry I’ve been such a lurker but please take care of yourself! Mysterious Tropical Disease can also be Mysterious DEADLY Tropical Disease. (I would know…I survived one. Ha.) You should let Rob take care of Riley while you go to the doctor (not school).

    Well, if you need someone in almost the same time zone (I’m an hour ahead) to talk to, there’s my e-mail address and I have skype too.

  2. shit….uh breathe slowly
    dont run yourself ragged (i know easier said than done)
    but that fever is no joke
    take care of yourself.go get checked out

  3. @ Jane – No problemo about lurking, but thanks for commenting! I went to the doc and apparently I just had a really bad strain of flu. The fevers are gone, but now I have a bad cough and lost my voice.

    I’ll definitely take you up on the offer to talk sometime. I miss American accents and I’d love to hear all about your move to Japan! What mysteriously deadly tropical disease did you have?

    @ Dej – I *have* to breathe slowly: I’m congested. My breathing is mad labored. Ha!

    Rob’s losing his voice, too. Luckily, Riley’s doing well.

  4. Nothing exotic- just dengue fever. It was a bad year- dengue was all over. I stewed at home for 2 or 3 days…no one knowing that I had it. I can remember through the fever haze that they had called in a witch doctor who blew garlic or something into my face. My mom had to come from New York too because I was so sick. Every time I went to the Philippines and it was just my dad, I caught something horrible. Haha. Like when I came back with lice infested eyelashes

    Years later, an ancient woman grabbed my wrist and called me Baby Jane and told me how she visited me when I had a fever. Cool, right? Many people told me that I got sick because a witch saw me and was jealous of my fair skin and plumpness.

    Watch that cute little baby of yours! He’s quite plump and juicy looking! 😉

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