Only in the Philippines: Fast food

In the Philippines, employees at fast-food chain restaurants call you “sir” and “ma’am” without fail. They also bus your tables, take your order before it’s your turn in line, and will dutifully clean your chosen table if you even suspect that it’s dirty. But also,

1.

Filipino beer

There’s San Miguel (and Coors) beer sold at Burger King. Yup, that’s right. Filipinos can definitely have it their way.

No word yet if the alcoholic beverages are also sold via drive-thru.

2.

Would you like fries with your Slim Shady?

Ever been to a nice family-friendly fast-food chain – say, Wendy’s? – and realize that every song they’re playing over the loudspeaker is expletive-laden? They might as well be screaming fuckety-fuck-fuck over and over again – and maybe that’s what they are doing. But the majority of the customers can’t understand what’s being said in the first place. So go ‘head with your lesbian threeway-hook’ and drive-by shooting-bridges. They’ll get plenty of mainstream play in the PI.

3.

This bee won't hesitate to give you a buzz.

Rob loves Jollibee. It’s a popular fast food chain in the Philippines, kind of the Flip answer to McDonald’s. They’re known for their burgers, fries, peach & mango pies, and spaghetti – the latter of which is Filipino-style, which means on the sweeter side of savory.

There’s a Jollibee about a five-minute walk from our house, and it’s a five-minute walk I’d gladly take to get my family some food. But why walk when they deliver? Especially when, after having not ordered delivery for a week or so, they called us to ask if we wanted to place an order. Turns out, their phone had been on the fritz and they were worried we’d been trying to get our Jollibee fix to no avail.

Is it bad that I feel the need to gloat about this? Like, “Haha! Not only do we have our local fast food chain’s number memorized, but they have us on speed dial! The relationship’s totally reciprocal! FTW!”

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2 responses to “Only in the Philippines: Fast food

  1. we have jollibees all over la. ohhh i remember the days when it was only found in union city up north.

    i heard nyc is getting its very 1st jollibee soon – if not already!

    man i have been a jolliwhore since birth. i swear it.

    and lol at all your observations. yes! you make me miss home. i’ve always said that asian hospitality is a thing to miss once you head back home to america and get eyes rolled at you from the drive thru window.

  2. Yup, the first Jollibee opened in NYC while I was pregnant, but the lines were so ridiculous (like, out the door and around the corner!) that I decided I could make due without all the extra oily calories.

    Word @ Asian hospitality. I’m gonna miss this when I move back States-side! I can’t imagine how immigrants must feel when they get to the States and see how different it is. Talk about a rude awakening! LOL

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