I know I said that I’m letting go of my parents’ ridiculous excuse for a marriage… but. it’s. so. hard.
My dad left about a week and a half ago, but before he left he brought a girl to the house. I knew from the moment I laid eyes on her that she was a ho, but I wasn’t sure she was my dad’s ho; my two uncles (who are also known for cheating on their wives) were here.
Now let me clarify. When I say “here”, I mean “my mother’s retirement home” aka “the house that my mother is working double overtime in order to pay off” aka “who the fuck do you think you are, waltzing into my mom’s house, you WHORE?!”
Yeah. The rage? It’s not gone.
So we got our phone bill and there are maybe a dozen numbers on it, most of which my dad’s dialed. My brother is trying to protect me from myself, so he’s tried to hide the phone bill. I made all amnesia patient about the phone bill, then proceeded to go all undercover agent and snoop around until the coast was clear to copy the numbers. I’m working on this evil plan to… well, I don’t know. I just know that people go through cell phones really quickly in this country, and before this ho changes her number I want to lure her into a dark alley and stab her in the eye. Or burn the right side of her body. Or pay a bunch of STD-infested hobos to gangbang her.
You get the idea.
The only thing that’s stopping me? I’d have to kill her afterward. If only so she doesn’t get all vendetta on me and start a family feud. It could very well get all Hatfield and McCoy up in here. Because the Philippines? It’s the wild wild east, my friend. Anything can happen, and no one has to answer to the law. Fo real, fo real.