Get the Fuck Out of My Life, You Unsupportive Asshole

NOTE: Kosta asked that I delete this post. I won’t do that, but I will remove his full name and pic from it. If he can’t deal with the world knowing his true colors, then there’s obviously more weighing on his mind than little old me.
Kosta
January 17 at 7:41pm
Maria, why are you having a baby?
 
January 17 at 8:08pm
Because I’m ready to be a mom.
 
January 17 at 8:12pm
To be honest, I’m kind of offended that you felt the need to ask.
 
January 17 at 10:17pm
Because you’re ready to be a mom? Is there a guy ready to be a dad? And how do you know that your child is ready to be born into your current situation? You were just asking me the other day for money for your parent’s mortgage. Do you have money saved up to care for your child? Do you have a steady job that’s secure even if you have to take maternity leave? Are you prepared, mentally, physically, financially, etc. for the burden of carrying, and then raising a child? I’m offended that you’re offended that I’m not the only one of your fucking retarded friends not congratulating you on your facebook wall. This isn’t a fucking joke – you’re bringing another life into this world and you’re just a kid yourself whether you want to admit it or not. I know that all sounds harsh but apparently someone needs to give you a wake up call. I’m sorry I couldn’t speak to you under better circumstances and in a cheerier tone but that’s just how it came out. You know I’ll always be here for you but fuck.
 
January 18 at 12:08pm
Kosta,

There’s a good chance that I’m reaching; we haven’t spoken on a regular basis for quite some time, and the part of you that I “know” is the part that thinks the way I think (when I’m not bombarded with hormones LOL). You see, Kosta, I love you for so many reasons, and one of those reasons has always been because we’ve been able to communicate on a level that is very rare to find. Maybe I’m aggrandizing the past, but I’ve always thought that our minds work in very similar ways, and for that reason alone there’s been a mutual respect between us.

Perhaps it’s too much to ask for that mutual respect since so much time and experience has passed in our lives without regular communication; perhaps we’ve just drifted too far along, in different directions, to recognize a reason to respect one another. But it was that respect that I’d assumed would stop you from accusing me of recklessness. It was that mutual acknowledgment of sound minds that I’d thought would show you that I’m a capable, logical, and intelligent human being. It was that faith in each others’ autonomy and responsibility that I thought would save us from such an awkward conversation.

You asked me why I want to have this baby, and perhaps I was wrong in doing so, but I took it as a question loaded with accusations. The mere positing of that question screams judgment, and what good is judgment supposed to do? Am I suddenly to “come to my senses” and realize that I need to change my plans? Don’t you think that I’ve taken into consideration every question you posed, and more that you didn’t think of? Don’t you think I know what I’m getting myself into?

I appreciate your concern. I really do. And I feel like we’ve been friends for so long that political correctness shouldn’t play a part in our relationship. Still, I have to wonder, where’s that mutual respect that I hold in such high regard? What have I done to make you think so lowly of me, to believe that I would rush into a life-changing decision? Why can’t you – a generally congenial individual – simply wish me congratulations?

Maria

 
Kosta
January 26 at 10:03pm
Maria,

Let me start by apologizing for not replying sooner – I had my first anatomy practical today and it demanded my full attention for about the last week. Let’s start.

Your first paragraph: ditto – very well said.

2nd: I agree that we have drifted from each other but not that we could ever drift past the point of reconciliation and recalibration of our personalities. My questioning your logic and autonomy simply stems from the fact that given the information that I have about your life (which I concede will always fall short regarding your life as you live it), I would not have made the same decision you did. We differ and so it must be the case that at some point, one of us will be proven wrong and the other right. And in establishing this dichotomy, I can’t imagine how I would be the wrong one given even the little that I’m aware of. You have your autonomy and I have mine, and so I made a decision and voiced my opinion regarding it.

3rd: You weren’t wrong in sensing accusations behind my question. I was full of them when I wrote it and so they must have somehow seeped into that single sentence where you detected them (see my paragraph 1 response). I’m not sure at this point however that you do know what you’re getting yourself into. Let’s take this as an opportunity to get caught and you can tell me.

4th: We’ll address all of that, including the congratulations later. If you want to do an old friend a favor, please elaborate on your thoughts regarding your pregnancy. I’d love to hear from you anyway.

Kosta

 
Today at 9:33am
Hey Kosta,

I had a feeling that you were going to say exactly this, and that’s why I took so long to read this message. Your superiority complex is annoying unappreciated, and unwarranted. I’ve always known that you’re full of yourself, but I never thought you were capable of being such a prick.

I wish you well in your endeavors. Please don’t try to contact me.

Maria

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6 responses to “Get the Fuck Out of My Life, You Unsupportive Asshole

  1. If ever there were someone who needed to be unfriended, this is that person. I am left to assume he (she?) was raised by wolves. Not to disparage wolves.

  2. Holy Fuck! What a pretentious ass.
    You un-friended him didn’t you?

  3. Gypsy and Kaila – Thanks so much for your support. It really upset me that he could be so disrespectful and offensive. You better believe that I unfriended him, on Facebook and off it, too.

  4. What a dick. I don’t recall you ever mentioned such a friend in any of your posts, but then again, I have missed a few. It was very unsensitive and judgemental of him to say all that and I wonder how you guys ended up as friends in the first place.

    I guess time and lack of communication does change people… or rather, it’s because of both we don’t see them change. You’ll do well without him.

    I believe in you.

  5. You have got to be kidding me!

    Wolf Man, Pretentious Ass or Dick, whatever you call him, doesn’t do it justice!

    I will tell you something – I do not really know you – just what I’ve gleaned from your blog – but you’ve gotten your shit together.

    You are by far even more prepared for this baby than I think even you know. I will tell you – when I had my son – 17 years ago – I was no where near as ready as you are. But I did it. We’ve made it this far, and we’re both doing great. It’s been a mad, crazy life the last 17 years, but as a mom you’ll get through it. This amazing instinct kicks in, and life gets lived, babes get raised, and shit get done. You’ll see….

    As for this friend, kick him, and all like-minded, to the curb. Life is too precious to be wasted on crap like that!

    So if he’s too small of a person to say it – let me – Congratulations on the soon-to-be-baby! I wish you both all the very best!

  6. Pugs – Thank you for your kind words and support. I know I’ll do well without him, but it’s still nice to hear it. 😉

    This guy and I have been “friends” since grade school. I use the term “friends” loosely because I feel like he never knew me at all. *shrug* At least now I know what he’s made of.

    Carrie – Thank you so much for your support! You have no idea how much I appreciate your awesomeness! Your words mean so much to me, especially coming from a kick-ass woman and wonderful mom such as yourself.

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