So I’m gonna share my talking points with you. Go ahead: shrink me.
1. Money (or lack thereof): I’m out of work, my savings are quickly dwindling, and there is no one I can turn to for financial assistance. My folks are financially fucked, the job market is nil, and I’m too big to make money whipping men (my waist has grown 4 inches). None of my affluent “friends” are friendly enough to give me a loan (something I realized recently, when I put my pride aside and asked); none of the people that I’m sure would loan me money have any to loan. The situation is getting dire.
2. Up until I found out I was pregnant, I was sharing an apartment with a good friend. We were living two blocks away from Prospect Park, and I was making enough money to pay my rent and get by all right. Life was good. It was safe. It was conventional.
3. I moved back into my Mom’s house. There were many reasons for this:
a. After 27 years of marriage, my folks are getting divorced. Dad’s been cheating on Mom for as long as I can remember. Mom’s finally fed up, and she needs emotional support.
b. I’m pregnant and I want/need help with my baby.
c. It’s more prudent – financially, I mean – if Mom and I combine our incomes.
4. My father is a HORRIBLE husband, but he’s an amazing and truly dedicated dad. He’s moving out of the house asap.
5. My parents are manipulative; they say whatever they need to say to get the desired outcome, even if that means lying, straight-faced. But I honestly believe they don’t know any better; they’ve been brainwashed to think their actions are ok. I can’t blame them for their ignorance.
6. Rob is unreliable. He’s immature and he’s self-centered. I don’t want him to be my life partner and I detest his family. I really don’t want my baby to spend time with Rob’s family, and the idea that my child is part him-. This baby is mine. Pure and simple. I’ll make him sign papers if need be.
7. I don’t have health insurance.
8. My parents never learned how to be financially responsible; I never really learned it, either. Now my dad’s SUV has been repossessed and he hasn’t paid the mortgage in 3 months. I’m thisclose to being homeless.
9. The only time things go smoothly is when I’m in control, so I spend my time being proactive. Checklists are made and acted on. Priorities are debated and executed with precision. Plans are dreamed up ad nauseum… I don’t want my life to go to shit, so I don’t trust anyone to do anything for me.
10. I desperately want to take my life down a road that I’ve never seen or heard of. I want to follow my dreams of traveling and writing, and at the same time I want to be financially comfortable and raise a family (on my own). I know how hard it is to start something new, to redefine what it is to live well, to exist in a realm of opportunity when everyone tells you that no such thing exists. I must live up to the challenge; I don’t know how to do anything else.